*Copied from my notes*
Why I'm happy being single.
So so many reasons. I'm a believer that the right things come to us when we aren't looking.
- I am able to focus on my wants/needs and I am able to pursue the fulfillment of those without any obstacles.
- I am secure in who I am, the people I spend time with, the hobbies I pursue. The beneficial qualities a s/o can provide, can also be provided by other people or activities in your life.
- I am mentally calm. Relationships can be absolutely exhaustive mentally. The constant thinking about a S/O (good or bad) does take a toll, at least on me. I tend to overthink and analyze, I'll read too much into something. Am I doing enough? Are they doing enough? Will they be mad at me if I do this? Their tone changed, what's wrong? There were too many times I was unable to enjoy a night out or time with friends because there was a fight, or I was worried, and I let once-in-a-lifetime moments get away from me.
- I am able to do the things that I want to do, and not factor a s/o in. I want to go out? I don't have to worry about a s/o wanting to stay home and asking I do the same. I get to live my life free, and my life is 100% completely and totally my own.
- I'm more likely to take risks and adventure. Should I move across the country for a new job? Why not? Nothing is tying me to one place and I can take more risks than I would if I was in a relationship.
- I am growing stronger relationships with family and friends. A s/o takes a lot of time through communicating and other things. Personally, I struggled to balance communication with a s/o and communicating with friends and family. By being single, I can focus on my familial relationships as well as those with my friends, creating solid structures.
- Being single doesn't mean I'm lonely. It's really the opposite, in fact. I enjoy my alone time and I can hermit if I want. I can also control the influences in my life more. I spend plenty of time with people who fill my life with happiness of all kinds.
- I get to practice mindfulness - being in the present moment. I can design my best days by embracing where I am and who I am with. I am not worried about meeting my next s/o for if that is the focus of my life, then I lose out on my ability to just enjoy every moment. You will (hopefully) be spending the rest of your life with your next s/o so what is the rush? You will never be at this period in your life again so ENJOY it.
- My confidence is at an all-time high. Your confidence has to be high when you're single as you are the source of your own strength and resiliency (also people love and pursue confident people ;) have fun with that!).
- Before I enter a relationship, I need to make sure I am at a place where I can devote the time, energy, patience, understanding, and other feelings to another person 110% without walls or boundaries. That's what my next s/o (whoever it may be) deserves - no one deserves to enter a relationship of any sort if the other people is only half there. I'm not saying I am half there, but I know I don't have the right levels of time and energy to devote to another person right now.
- Give yourself time for the RIGHT one to come along. No need to rush, take things slow. Make sure your next relationship is the one that can last forever. No need to settle out of loneliness.
- Entering a relationship with someone is not my first priority right now. Life is, my family, my career, where I will be in the next couple months - those are my first priorities.
- If it's meant to be, it'll be.
Finally, what works for me might not be the reasons for you, or for anyone else. Everyone's path is different, every journey unique to challenges faced. I am incredibly happy being single - I have so much time for myself. To be honest, I am simply at a point in my life right now where I can't see myself adding a s/o to the mix. I'm still working on myself and I am content with that.
When I next decide to date someone, to add someone to my life in that way, it will be because they make being in a relationship so much more attractive than being single. I'm not afraid to take the risk, to jump into love, but I will wait for the right one, the special person, to come through.
Just be happy in your present circumstances and live your best life, regardless if it is by being single or being in a relationship!
"Don't be scared to walk alone. Don't be scared to like it." ~John Mayer
"If you really are going to be a happy single, you have to stop treating being single as the annoying time that you pass between relationships and embrace it. Rather than focus on what you lack, focus on what you have: You." ~Natalie Lue
